Raunch is rebranded as 'confidence'

From the L.A. Times

Raunch is rebranded as 'confidence'

by Meghan Daum

Many women during spring break seem to believe that their sexuality is their only currency.

March 15, 2008

This month, millions of young people will congregate on sunny beaches as far from home as possible in order to relieve themselves from the stresses of academia. Their methods? Around-the-clock binge drinking and lively cultural activities such as near-naked girl-against-girl wrestling matches held in giant vats of pudding.

The Fort Lauderdale version of spring break was originally made famous by the 1960 film "Where the Boys Are," but spring break is now thought to be best experienced in places like Cancun, Mexico, where the drinking age is 18 and tour companies build packages almost exclusively around access to alcohol: $100 procures a wristband that grants admission to clubs offering unlimited free alcohol.

Meanwhile, in news of the "no duh" variety, the American Medical Assn. released figures about sex and alcohol use during rowdy spring break vacations. The poll, which surveyed female college students and graduates aged 17 to 35, found that 74% believed women used drinking "as an excuse for outrageous behavior"; 83% "had friends who drank the majority of nights while on spring break"; and 12% "felt forced or pressured into sex" during spring break.

And no wonder. The Journal of American College Health has reported that women partying at spring break hot spots consume an average of 10 alcoholic drinks per day, and men consume an average of 18. Queasy yet? I know I am. A few years ago, I went to Cancun during spring break to research a magazine article. I was hoping to arrive at some grand psychological and existential reason as to why many of today's college women (who, after all, were presumably pursuing higher education because they wanted to be more than sex objects) seem so happy to let men lick tequila shots off their body parts.

I didn't exactly succeed. But after a week of talking to people in various states of undress and intoxication, I can tell you this much: What's happening on spring break beaches isn't just boys being boys and girls going wild. It's young people, women especially, deciding that the way to measure their readiness for the adult world is not in terms of education or emotional maturity but sexual desirability.

The raunchy contests and general debauchery were something that these women had prepared for, almost as though for a final exam. They'd logged hours at the gym, in tanning booths and at body wax salons. They'd save up money for breast implants and then timed the surgery so they'd be healed by spring break. Some seemed to have practiced drinking, experimenting with different alcohol combinations to see what afforded the fastest buzz with the least amount of calories and dollars spent.

One word I heard again and again, oddly, was "confidence." As they psyched themselves up for wet T-shirt contests or debated whether a given guy was worth flirting with, a lot of women told me that they saw spring break as the proving ground for their attractiveness. "If I can be considered hot here, I'll be hot anywhere," a rather morose woman sitting on a bar stool in a bikini and high heels told me. "I'm here to get confident."

That's sad, but it's not exactly irrational given the context (no one was there, after all, to participate in a chess tournament). But the more women I talked to, the more it became clear that hotness was, for them, the largest factor in the equation of their self-worth. When they talked about what they wanted to do with their lives, they spoke not of jobs or grad school but of looking good, of having the right equipment and experience to ensure a place in the raunch-obsessed pop culture they'd come to see as the real world.

And why not? These days, miniskirts the size of cocktail napkins are considered appropriate mall attire for 14-year-olds. Local newscasters seem to regard see-through shirts as proper on-air attire. And illiteracy appears to have spread to the point at which parents can put a T-shirt on a 2-year-old without noticing that the words "Future Hooters Girl" are printed across the front. With girl power like that, can we really blame these women for seeing their sexuality as their only currency?

Of course, despite the fact that an estimated 170,000 kids are expected to descend on Cancun this season, there are many more who have better things to do than pass out on the beer-stained floor of Congo Bongo. But every March, when the spring drinking statistics get trotted out like so many vodka shots lined up on a bar, I'm reminded of how much they reveal about everyday life. Revelers may tell themselves that whatever happens in Cancun stays in Cancun, but in some ways, the party never ends.

I'm feeling less confident already.

mdaum@latimescolumnists.com

Attention Parents: 1 in 4 Teen Girls Has Sexual Disease

Wow. At least one in four teenage girls (starting at 14 years old) nationwide has a sexually transmitted disease, or more than 3 million teens, according to the first study of its kind in this age group. We need to be aware of this as our daughters are very savvy and know what's going on in the world. It's up to us to be able to sit them down and explain to them why exactly "relations" are not for people their age, no matter what television, books, magazines, the internet and some acquaintances say.

read more | digg story

Lipa Lipa Lipa - Fear of a Black Hatted Planet

Okay, folks, what's your take?

[NEW UPDATE FROM LIPA BELOW ORIGINAL ARTICLE - AND BREAKING NEWS
There has been much talk regarding the Kol Koreh issued by Gedoley Yisroel banning the “Big Event Concert”. Rumors were being spread as to the status of the massive show - which was scheduled for March 9 in Madison Square Garden.

Many people were questioning us why we did not post anything. YWN had consulted with leading Gedolim, and we were instructed not to post anything regarding this issue until now.

Yeshiva World has just spoken to Lipa Schmeltzer (Motzei Shabbos 5:45AM EST) and he has informed us that he will not be singing at the “Big Event Concert”. This decision was reached after he consulted with Daas Torah, and talking to leading Gedoley Yisroel.

Lipa Schmeltzer must be publicly commended for listening to the words and wisdom of true Gedoley Yisroel.

Lipa tells YWN that many people have had issues with the type of material that he has been singing during his career. He always chose to ignore the requests of some of his fans to change his style of singing. Although he did have certain standards that he always kept (never singing for mixed crowds), he many time decided to follow the customers requests - and sing questionable tunes.

Lipa now has decided to make a big change. He has decided to turn over a leaf, and will be changing his entire style of music. He has decided that he does not think that the current style of Jewish music is apropos for Frum people to be listening to.

The past week has been very tough for Lipa and his family. Tough decisions have been made. Major decisions. Decisions about money. Decisions about his future. But Lipa has made the correct decision.

Lipa has met with many Gedoley Yisroel in the past two days, and spent countless hours talking to them. He has decided to forfeit a large sum of money by not singing this concert - and instead chose Daas Torah.

We are sure that Hashem will pay him back double for making the correct decision, and being Mikadesh Shem Shomayim!

Lipa also tells us that he is very concerned that there will be a backlash at the Rabbonim. He is publicly asking everyone to please refrain from making any accusations against any Rabbonim. “There is no reason for anyone to mix into this business, and everyone should rest assured that this was all done Bishalom”, Lipa said. “I don’t want anyone to talk Lashon Hara and Motzei Shem Ra against anyone - especially the Gedolim whom I have tremendous respect for”.

“I have recently started learning Bichavrusa with a leading Rosh Yeshiva, and I promised him that I will never sing any songs which were composed by non-Jews. Being true to my word, I have sang at more then a dozen Chasuna’s since I made that decision - and I have not sang “Yidden”, “Abi-Mileibt”, or “Numa” (Rabbi Nachman M’uman) or any other song that is questionable as to its origin”, Lipa told YWN.

“People should know that this Kol Koreh and ban against The Big Event was not directed at me personally, but at all concerts in general. The Rabbonim felt the need to put their foot down and attempt to stop all future concerts in NY.”

For any further information regarding the status of the Big Event Concert, please call the concert hotline at 718-873-0888.